Shopping in India

Even thought their English is far from perfect, most of the shop keepers are able to speak at least a little bit. Below is a list of four words every shop keeper has mastered, and an example of a typical dialogue that takes place before the purchase.

Vocabulary

1. Hello – pronounced as “yellow” with a strong emphasis on the first syllable. The word is also often used instead of ‘excuse me’. When responding to it, I can’t help but mock their pronunciation.

2. One hundred rupees only – they always add the word ‘only’ in their attempt to suggest that they are giving you a good price, even though it’s triple the amount a local would pay.

3. Madam – young or old, every foreign woman is referred to as “Madam”.

4. Come – in conjunction with the word ‘Madam’ the word ‘come’ is used by shop owners to invite foreign ladies into the store. “Madam, come….please…cooommmme”. I can’t help but laugh every time I hear it. It’s never ‘come in’ or ‘come over’. It’s just ‘come’. Plus, the sound of Indian pronunciation makes it even more difficult to suppress laughter.

Typical shopping dialogue

As you are walking down the market with your hands clutching your purse in attempt to prevent involuntary transfer of your wallet to a talented thief, you hear the following:

“Yellow, Madam!”

You nod and take a quick glimpse at the store.

“Please come. Madam, come, please!”  Picture a lot of enthusiasm here.

You hesitantly walk into the shop.

Madam, you like pashmina? Many colours, Madam. Very beautiful for you.”

“I am just looking, thank you.”

As you look around, you find some useless piece of fabric sewn into a disposable piece of clothing that mildly pleases your eye.

“How much is this shirt?”

”Madam, you my first customer today. I give you good price.”

“Okay. How much is it?”

“Three hundred rupees only!”

You turn around and walk away because you are perfectly aware that it shouldn’t cost any more than a hundred and fifty.  You keep walking because you know that in another second you will hear:

“Madam, how much you pay?”

You turn around and say: “One hundred.”

“One hundred? No, madam! I give you good price, 250.”

You repeat the well-rehearsed walking away procedure several times. Ten minutes later you walk away happily, having paid 151. One rupee for good luck.

Oh shopping…